Phil Alderman • Josh Barton • Jonathan "Cappsy" Capps • Andrew Edmark • John Hoare • James Hunt • Tanya Jones • Michael Lacey • Seb Patrick • Austin Ross • Phil Reed • Ian "Ian" Symes

Phil lives in Luton and thinks you will probably hold this against him, but he doesn't mind. He is the kind of person who is always talking about wanting to write but hardly ever does. His attempts to grow a full manly beard are frequently hampered by the need to shave it off for unsuccessful job interviews. He is twenty-four.

He wants to be a website designer or a musician when he grows up, but secretly worries that he doesn’t have the skills to make a living from either of those. In actual fact he'd probably settle for just working behind the counter at HMV. He is an obsessive collector of stuff.

Josh was born in 1983, hails from Leamington Spa in Warwickshire, and has always assumed the films of George A. Romero to be documentaries rather than works of fiction. He has a BA in Digital Arts and Animation, and an MA in Computer Arts.

Although he spends a good proportion of his time deciding whether a chainsaw or a sledgehammer is a more effective method of exterminating a zombie, Josh still finds time to lecture in animation, digital arts, and game design at Thames Valley University.

His love of bludgeoning the undead is paralleled only by his love of video games. When not reverse engineering dance mats for art exhibitions or harbouring desires to be a comicbook artist, Josh enjoys nothing more than adding a few extra hours to his Burnout Revenge profile, or convincing someone that Gunstar Heroes really is the best game ever.

He currently lives in Ealing, West London.

Jonathan Capps was born on 22 June 1983 in the Northern English market town of Northallerton. He is currently living in Ealing, West London and is working for a well known satellite communication company as an intern web developer.

Other than the web and its development, his main interests lie in comedy and music - be they live, on television or floating around in his head - but he is neither funny nor musical. Naturally, this doesn't get in the way of him trying, often with disastrous consequences. Jonathan loves a good book, hates a bad newspaper and enjoys a hot chilli.

His writing has been foisted on the world since 2003 when he launched his Red Dwarf site, The White Hole. Since then he's started hanging around with naughty people whose bad influence has got him into the dangerous and addictive world of hard-core geekery. His life is in tatters as a result.

Andrew Edmark is a rather well-rounded American boy, both physically and mentally. He often finds it necessary to mention his love for both photography and film on a daily basis. His own photography, which can be prominently seen on his personal website aedmark.com, is often considered to be some of the best imagery ever created in the history of mankind. Of course, this is only an approximation of what might be said, some day, about Andrew's work... Or possibly someone else's. Like Van Gogh or Dali or Ansel Adams.

Since his birth in late 1987, Andrew has managed to accomplish several great feats. Including, but not limited to: the creation of several short films, the writing of a few short stories, and the conception and creation of a few album covers for a few excellent bands (no-one you know). Currently he is attending the University of Iowa in the US of A, and he is studying for a degree in Cinema. Andrew also maintains a job with the university's football team, in which he records every game and practice for the betterment of the teams cumulative skill. And now, currently, Andrew would like a sandwich.

The End.

A stock control clerk by trade, John Hoare is currently frantically running around not designing websites in order to build a portfolio for a future career in web design. He lives in Exeter with his darling girlfriend Tanya, and loves her very much indeed, as she changes his nappy on a regular basis to stop him getting a sore bum bum.

Unfortunately, his interest in all kinds of media has rendered him pig-ignorant of the wider world, although he can tell you what his favourite Rutland Weekend Television sketch is. (Which is Talkabout, if you're interested.) He maintains that The IT Crowd is the best sitcom in years, and sits crying in the corner because so many people think otherwise.

James is a button pusher at one of the world's biggest internet companies. He has a computing degree, a complete set of Buffy DVDs, and a bad attitude towards society. In his free time he likes having fun, hanging out with friends, and making vague impersonal statements on the internet.

You will find James writing in several places on the internet, though not so often in the third person, and never so directly for an audience. Like all comics reviewers, James harbours an intense desire to write comics himself, and hopes to one day review his own work for the site in a fit of self-referentialism that'll blow all your fragile minds. Until that day, James' reviews will probably just be variations on the theme of "Bah, I could've done this better than this hack." despite having no concrete evidence of that.

Tanya Jones is the eldest member of the Noise To Signal team, and was born way back in 1977 in the coastal resort of Sidmouth, in Devon. She now lives 20 miles away in Exeter, after a great deal of moving around. She assures everyone that she meets that Sidmouth was THE place to be in Regency England, and they are all equally fascinated. She works as a Senior Product Tester for Reuters in Tiverton.

As well as contributing to Noise To Signal, Tanya runs the comedy appreciation site Flangelog, and is also a moderator for NOTBBC. In her spare time, is is also John Hoare's PA, maid, nurse and occasional snuggling partner.

Michael Lacey's main interests at present are drinking in the living room and watching his kitten get it's head trapped in socks and jump on stuff. Once it grows up and isn't as funny, normal service will resume in Glasgow where Michael currently storms about Art School with blue paint in his fringe complaining about everything. Since the stress of running an entire website almost drove him away from drink, he's been sporadically published by various "zines" and considers the crowning glory of his writing career to be some death threats he recieved from a band disgruntled at their poor review.

Originally from Liverpool, 24-year-old Seb Patrick works for an agency that represents some very good television writers, and lives above a curry house in the fine West London borough of Ealing. He seems to spend a lot of time championing underappreciated artforms, with controversial views such as "TV is just as good as film", and "comics are just as good as books" (he wrote an Oxford thesis on the latter point). He likes to trawl car boot sales and charity shops for old video games, records, comics, books and toys, which he may grow out of at some point in the next twenty years or so. In the meantime, though, if you find him an '80s or '90s Roy Of The Rovers annual, he'll be your friend for life.

Back when Weezer were actually good, Seb used to run their biggest UK-based website, and has written various odds and sods for BBC Online, Empire Online and Channel 4 Talent. He's currently also writing a sitcom in six fifteen-minute episodes for internet distribution, was a semi-finalist on the BBC's short-lived revival of Ask The Family in 1999, and once got called a "smartarse" by Mark Goodier live on Radio 1.

Writer, author, novelist, lyricist, pacifist, coward, graphic designer, typesetter, proofreader, readproofer, consumer, singer, songster, driver, motorist, walker, digger, flyer, tryer, loser, chooser, wiper, whipper, cooker, faker, taster, baster, waster, victim, perpetrator, reactor, relifter, rewriter, reworker, remainder, reminder, divider, detainer, disdainer, dreamer, dancer, prefabricated preterite.

Austin Ross is definitely not considered to be the supreme god in Ashanti mythology. He's not even in the top ten. Nor, in fact, has Timothy Leary ever stated that he had been "endowed with a mysterious power to create a new human species, a young race of laughing freemen." He never said, "Thus idly busy rolls their world away" (that was Oliver Goldsmith), although he definitely believes it to be true. Instead, he lives a relatively quiet life over in America, which is not as bad as some people make it out to be, honest. His dream job is to sit around all day while other people pay him to write fiction. His real job is as a newspaper journalist. The rest of the time he is a university student and general freeloading layabout. And he can poach an egg like no other.

He runs a Red Dwarf fansite, Garbage World, which used to be updated fairly regularly but is now somewhat dormant.

Ian Symes is a budding writer and TV type chap, originally from Birmingham and now living in North London. He's written for Red Dwarf fansite Ganymede & Titan for as long as he can remember, and was a co-founder of Observation Dome. But the thing he boasts about the most is his part in making The Movie: Yeah No Yeah No, a competition-winning short film, which is showcased on the Red Dwarf VII DVD.

Currently, Ian's mediocre camera skills can be seen every now and then on obscure digital shopping channel Deal TV (Sky 677), for whom he works because they share a floor with Television X. He is also a student at top former polytechnic Middlesex University and will appear in forthcoming online BBC soap Wannabes as 'Man In Pub'."