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Chart Show TV are a bunch of bloody idiots

At just past midnight, they just showed the video for ‘Poker Face’. Just past midnight, you understand. And they censored the line “Cos I’m bluffin’ with my muffin”, and cut out the shot of Lady GaGa pointing at her bits. THREE HOURS AFTER THE WATERSHED.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the day, MTV Dance showed the entire thing intact. And quite right, because this isn’t even at the level of a naughty seaside postcard. If you can show gyrating lovelies not wearing very much throughout the day, you can show this.

But even allowing for wanting to censor the line pre-watershed, there is no excuse for doing it post-watershed. It’s all about making things easier than wanting to make a good television channel - wanting to have the same version of a programme to play all the time, to make scheduling easier. The same issue leads to G.O.L.D censoring mild swearing in sitcoms post-watershed. It’s nothing but pure laziness… or ineptitude. And it’s difficult to have any respect for a channel that does it.

Censoring videos that don’t need to be censored is one thing. But showing the edited versions after the watershed just makes them look like idiots.

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I saw a similar thing happen with an episode of Friends on E4 recently - it was the episode where Phoebe discovers that her twin sister is a porn star. Every single instance of the word “porn” was cut out (in some cases, quite sloppily), making the episode nigh-on incomprehensible. But I was watching it at around 8.30pm - okay, pre-watershed, but surely an acceptable time for the word “porn” to be broadcast in context on a digital channel on a programme known for occasionally risque humour? The reason, of course, was that it was exactly the same package of episodes that will have been shown earlier in the afternoon - and it’s far easier to keep the same versions on a constant loop than it is to actually put some thought or effort into what you’re broadcasting.

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By Seb Patrick
May 25, 2009 @ 8:18 am

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That verse tends to be cut out on most radio stations but, strangely, “I’ll get him hard, show him what I’ve got” seems to always be left intact. I would argue that this line is far more risqué compared to the “muffin” line, which is open to interpretation without the accompanying video where it’s illustrated exactly what Lady GaGa means.

Incidentally, Since a mate pointed it out, I’m unable to listen to the chorus without hearing:

No he can’t read my poker face
(Come on Barbie, let’s go party)

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By Pete
May 25, 2009 @ 10:24 am

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This has reminded me of something related which is when TV programmes and radio leave words uncensored pre-watershed that would usually be censored because it “means something different over there”.

There was some astonished chuckling going on amongst us schoolkids when characters in ‘Neighbours’ used to repeatedly use the word “spunk” (especially when it came out of the mouth, so to speak, of a middle-aged character) and I also recall Steve Wright blustering into a play of Ice Cube’s ace ‘Today Was a Good Day’ on his old Radio One show to inform us that “In America, “fanny” means bottom” (he clearly saw the funny side, so it wasn’t quite a Partridge moment, alas).

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By Zagrebo
May 25, 2009 @ 11:18 am

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On the other hand, “wankers” used to always get edited out of the BBC2 airings of the U2 episode of The Simpsons - whereas it could be happily broadcast in the States because they didn’t know it was a swear word.

There was some astonished chuckling going on amongst us schoolkids when characters in ‘Neighbours’ used to repeatedly use the word “spunk”

But “spunk” has a long-standing dual meaning over here, as well, doesn’t it? I’ve seen it used in its non-semen-related fashion in many pre-watershed UK things…

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By Seb Patrick
May 25, 2009 @ 11:23 am

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But “spunk” has a long-standing dual meaning over here, as well, doesn’t it? I’ve seen it used in its non-semen-related fashion in many pre-watershed UK things…

Well, it certainly used to but the old use of “spunk” to mean general manliness seems to have been anachronistic in the main for a long time now. Certainly by the late ’80s the only use we knew for it was, well, spunk. In Australia, the old use seems to have persisted.

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By Zagrebo
May 25, 2009 @ 2:13 pm

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I thought the non-semen use of “spunk” meant lively/preppy/energetic rather than “manly”?

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By Somebody
May 25, 2009 @ 4:39 pm

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I always remember watching the episode of MASH where Col. Potter declared Major Houlihan had a case of the fanny fungus. Not really the sort of phrase you want to crop up when watching TV with your parents.

By Daff
May 25, 2009 @ 7:37 pm

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thefreedictionary.com sez “courage or spirit” so I suppose a bit of both.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/spunk

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By Zagrebo
May 25, 2009 @ 8:27 pm

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If we’re talking about general edits and the like, I find it duty-bound to mention that Holiday on the Buses cut out brief flash of a nice pair of tits at the start of the film earlier this evening. (I first saw the film at an impressionable age. They stuck in my head.)

Bah.

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By John Hoare
May 25, 2009 @ 10:38 pm

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