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"Actually, as I write, I realise that I haven't seen Knightmare for sodding years."

So, why write about it?

"In all honesty it's probably just as well; I can't be sure, but I suspect that now it all might look a bit, erm, crap. Much as every CG warrior chap used to send pre-pubescent me into wide-eyed glee, I've a horrible feeling that the show would now seem as convincing as the 1982 video to Dire Straits' Money For Nothing."

Or: you could have tried rewatching the series to see if it still holds up, not MAKE THINGS UP IN YOUR HEAD.

"It died because its niche fanbase eventually either a) got older, b) got computers or c) got sex - in any case, the market for its pedestrian, camp fantobabble was never going to last."

Niche? Bollocks! It was a very popular programme. It died because of these reasons. And your three reasons, however "hilarious", are just bollocks - they don't work as exaggerations for comic effect, they're just plain wrong. And as for "pedestrian, camp fantobabble"... yep, comes back to not watching it again, doesn't it?

"It got rubbisher, as well: in a desperate attempt to fiddle with the formula, the producers ditched many of the more atmospheric locations and charismatic characters (notably Pickle, Treguard's wonderful gay elf sidekick) in favour of comic hangers-on and tedious gimmicry. The eyeshield, anyone? Pah."

Ah... remember this whole "not watching it recently" thing? Well, Pickle and the Eye Shield debuted in the same series - Series 4 in 1990, to be precise. Way to undermine your argument, mate.

I know this kind of thing shouldn't irritate me as much as it does any more. Especially an article written in 2002. But really, if you're going to start an article by informing your readers that you haven't even watched what you're writing about for years, and haven't got the grace to do any decent research, you deserve everything you get.


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